Jessie: In New England where we have been having some wild weather!
It is a great pleasure to welcome my friend Julia to the blog today. Her books are wonderful, as are her company and outlook on life. Take it away, Julia!
I know the Wicked Wednesday theme this month is the very appropriate March Madness, a phrase that brings back so many memories… of me making bowls of stew and trays of snacks for my dear husband.
Let me take you back to the heady days of the 1980s in Washington, DC. I was a graduate student at GWU, and I happened to meet a funny looking handsome guy who was attending law school at the same university. On out first date, he took me for drinks at a chi-chi Georgetown bar, dinner at Au Pied du Cochon, followed by dancing at an African night club. I told you they were heady days.
On our second date… he took me to a Georgetown basketball game.
I can’t say I didn’t know what I was getting in to.
My husband, Ross, was a genuine basketball nut, a combination of growing up in Maine cheering for the Celtics and graduating from Georgetown, which, in the 80s, was at the peak of its record-charting years, led by power forward Patrick Ewing and legendary coach John Thompson. No, I didn’t know who these men were before meeting Ross. Yes, our son’s middle name is John. It was intended to honor my dad, but Ross may have privately thought differently.
The aforementioned dad was one of the few American men I’ve known with zero interest in any sport other than competitive gliding with his sailplane. No hockey, no baseball and certainly no basketball. And the guys I tended to date before that fateful meeting in DC were – well, my mother called them “The A’s” – an anthropologist, an actor, an author, an artist. You know the type; soulful, poetical guys with shaggy hair and no money. Ross was another breed of A: an attorney. When I told my mom we were getting serious, she prayed a Novena for him to propose. He did! I wish I had asked her what saint she used; I’d do the same for my own kids.
Over the years, I learned the rules of March Madness. No, the first rule wasn’t “Don’t talk about March Madness.” We talked about it ALL the time. The paper bracket would be spread over the dining room table, along with annotated Sports Illustrated articles. (It was such a great magazine! A curse on all private equity firms.) The kids got quizzed about the various divisions during dinner. Ross would get into conversations with random guys who also happened to be filling up at the gas station. No, the rules were:
- Do not plan anything that clashes with an important game.
- All games are important games.
- During Georgetown games, the foam “Go Hoyas” finger must be carefully positioned by the TV.
- All family members must wear their Hoyas T-shirts/sweatshirt/sweatpants. Failing this, an all-navy-and-gray outfit is acceptable.
- You can make as much conversation as you like, as long as you wait until the commercials.
- Meals and snacks must be easy to eat while staring, riveted, at the screen, and shouldn’t contain anything that might stain the sofa or rug when G’town scores and Ross leaps from his seat screaming. (This was my rule, after some experience.)
- You can root for teams in the following order: If G’town wasn’t playing, any other Catholic school in the Big East Conference.
If no Catholic schools were playing, any other team in the Big East, except never, never, never Syracuse. (Where I was from, but let it pass, let it pass.)
If it wasn’t a Big East game, it’s acceptable to root for a Big Ten team.
Every other conference is just critiqued, not cheered.
I haven’t watched March Madness in years. It’s not the same without my funny looking handsome basketball nut. I hope they have March Madness in the next world, played by the best of the old boys on squeaky courts of perfect, shining maple. And where Georgetown is never, ever *peeks through her fingers* in tenth place. Hoya Saxa!
Readers, are there any passions or pastimes brought into your life by a loved one?
JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING is the New York Times bestselling author of One Was a Soldier, and an Agatha, Anthony, Dilys, Barry, Macavity, and Gumshoe Award winner. She studied acting and history at Ithaca College and received her J.D. at the University of Maine School of Law. Her books have been shortlisted for the Edgar, Nero Wolfe, and Romantic Times RC awards. Julia lives in a 190-year-old farmhouse in southern Maine.
The Wickeds 
Julia, you paint the perfect picture of Ross and his fandom! My father also had no interest in sports, any of them, and neither did/does my brother. But I owe my love of maps to Daddy, and tracking the weather. He would have LOVED live weather-radar maps.
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My dad also loved tracking weather, Edith, and had a whole set of weather forecast thingies. He had a real passion for The Weather Channel. Must be a dad thing!
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We are not a family of big sport fans. As for me, it probably stems from sports in school when I was always the last one picked. Ok so I wasn’t the most coordinated person and I’ve always said I run like a sewing machine (moving fast but not going anywhere), but it left it’s mark. As one gets older you learn to accept your faults and to accept them. Where was this vision when I was in junior and high school?
For me, without a doubt is photography. Hubby loved it and while I was happy for him to find the hobby that fit him, I just couldn’t figure out the job of sitting for hours to get one photo snapped. Until one day I decided, with his encouragement, to pick up a camera. Lord knows how much patience he had in getting the cameras settings all taught to me until the light bulb finally went off. Now I not only understand that waiting for hours bit, but I also love the joy of when you get the perfect shot – whether it’s skill, luck of a bit of both. To top it off, it’s something we love doing together. It often takes us off on a trip to find that critter in it’s natural environment or it may take us out to the front porch, but I think a majority of the thrill is being together doing something we both enjoy doing.
2clowns at arkansas dot net
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Kay, I love your photos, and hearing the story behind them makes them even more special. It’s such a joy when we can share a passion with someone we love.
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Julia, your description of Ross reminds me of my mother during football season. She attended home games in person, whatever the weather (and this was Buffalo) and Sunday afternoons were dedicated to watching. And no matter who was playing them, Squish the Fish (the Miami Dolphins)! My father loved hockey and baseball.
I did when I was younger, but not so much now. I follow the scores and news, but watching the games is too much.
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I know true fans consider it heresy, Liz, but watching a football game all alone is like playing cards alone. I mean, you can do it, but it would be a lot more fun with 1-3 other people!
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Exactly!
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This is wonderful and it gives me a vivid picture of Ross.
My family were not sports fans, neither is my husband (thankfully). We were/are more the join in the activity types – horseback riding, swimming, later scuba diving, skiing, skating, running, hiking you get the picture. I do like sports parties, though. I’m smart enough to keep my mouth shut and one eye on the fans so I can figure out when to cheer or jeer!
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That’s the way to do it, Kait! I love sports parties, because you can sample some amazing food at them…
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Oh my gosh Julia! Please don’t hate me…when my son was going on all the college searches, we had exhausted all of the New England options, being from north of Boston. I missed those tours, they were such fun. And seeing them through my son’s ever maturing eyes, was just amazing. So when I suggested just one more, he jumped at the chance. He had grown up a Boston College Eagles fan, and I was sure he’d choose that college. Nope. Nope. Nope. It was too close to home and “dad’s going to visit me all the time. I need farther away” He and his dad always filled in the brackets, separately and with much “discussion “ faithfully. So when listening and looking over their brackets, I suggested Syracuse. This was met by raised eyebrows and smirks. But…my son sir of grinned and said he had heard about the Carrier Dome being one of the best places to watch a game, so off we went. We almost canceled because a snow storm threatened but after a call to the motel, we were assured that the snow was heading south of Syracuse. After a 6 hour drive, we arrived on campus and I saw the look on my son’s face and thought, “oh no. Not here. Not 6 hours away.” “Please…no!” But he very quietly said, “mom, I feel like I already go here. This is it. I’m sorry.”
The rest is history. For the basketball season he made a big sign that read “WOW!” And was spotted by ESPN frequently and they commented on that kid with the sign every single game. He was zeroed in on several times during every home game. We used to call them “KJ sightings”. Our new friends, and that’s a story for another time, would text us when they spotted our SU son.
So Julia, please, please don’t hate me, but go ‘Cuse! https://dailyorange.com/2014/02/close-knit-during-basketball-season-syracuse-moms-bond-over-facebook-heart-to-hearts-vibrant-footwear/
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I forgot to add.. at his last game, his senior year, he flipped his sign and ESPN commented. “What a kid. “ flipped , his sign read “ I MOM”
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Julie, no apologies necessary because… I’m from Syracuse! (Or just down the lake from it.) Ross used to say we were in a mixed marriage. When my son was looking at colleges, we did several in upstate NY, including SU. We took LOTS of pictures of him with ‘Cuse swag, posing with Otto the Orange, etc. His dad nearly had a stroke. It was hilarious.
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I’m not sure if you opened the link on my comment. The SU student newspaper, The Daily Orange did a great story on a bunch of moms who called ourselves the Sock Sistas because we all wore our lucky orange socks during basketball games! We all became very close to one another. As I mentioned, another cool story for another time. 🍊
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I forgot to add that at the last home game, his senior year, ESPN zeroed in on him and commented, “what a kid.” He had flipped his sign and it read “!MOM”
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I adore this post Julia! I can totally picture that leap in the air because he did the same thing when IN THE BLEAK MIDWINTER edged out SIX STROKES UNDER for best first novel at Malice Domestic. He was a great guy and we all still miss him xox
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He was and we do, Lucy…
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Welcome back, Julia! As a Big Ten fan, I applaud the sensible decision to cheer for them. My husband grew up in Nigeria and played soccer as a boy. He also had a mad passion for the Premier League Soccer team Manchester United. (I’m fairly certain that no one in the states even knew about Premier League in the sixties.) So, I now know more about soccer than I ever dreamed I would. And I was able to see Wayne Rooney (a Man U legend) play in DC when he played for DC United. I also saw David Beckham (another Man U legend) play at Foxborough against the New England Revolution. If I don’t watch the game with him, I can tell by the cheers and grumbling how it’s going.
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I completely forgot to mention my Hugh’s passion for soccer. World Cup, women’s included. New England Revs. Premier League. All of it. He shares it with our daughter-in-law – and now with me.
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Edith, I was just replying to Sherry that I wish I knew enough about soccer/football to watch it intelligently. Youth soccer wasn’t something my kids were interested in, so I missed out on that as a way to get into viewing the sport.
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Sherry, soccer/football looks like a sport that would be genuinely fun to follow – but I’d need a translator to tell me why one move was good and another bad!
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loved Julia’s description of the suitors her Mom called the ‘a’s. Matched Harley’s description of the kind of guy SHE had tended to go for
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Great memories!
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My boyfriend likes golf so I watch golf with him and he watches football with me
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Three words – UCONN Women’s Basketball.
🙂 aprilbluetx at yahoo dot com
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Julia, What a fabulous story about Ross and basketball and the “A’s.” I am so sorry that he is now longer here to share the madness with you. I knew he was gone when you said “was.” My father was not a sports fan at all. I tried things but never did well at any sport but exercise. He was passionate about photography and music, and I inherited them both. The man I married was my HS boyfriend who never played too many sports, but he loves football and Nascar. I was okay with those two–just okay. He did like photography, so we bonded over that and took lots of photos just like Daddy did. But in 2005, I fell in love with Texas Longhorn football (I went to UT Austin and only went to about two games-shame on me). My husband asked why now did I like college football? I had no answer. He did say, well you picked a very good year as Texas won the National Championship. I though this year was going to be it again, but no….. But now we don’t do much photography, but boy, do we watch football! Hook ’em Horns!
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