On Friends

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Edith writing from north of Boston, where December is cold and windy, just like it’s supposed to be at this time of year in New England.

Back in September, I’d meant to write a post about friends, but veered into a cover reveal for Scone Cold Dead, instead. With the end of the year in sight, and the end of Wicked Authors Rev 1 also nearing the end (sniff), now seems like the perfect time.

This is one of my favorites from the Wicked Authors photo shoot we did back in 2014. These women hold a special place in my heart for true friendship as well as support in all things authorial. Together we have laughed and cried and griped and celebrated. We’ve held each other up, tried to figure out the craziest corners of the publishing industry, and boosted lots of other writers in the process. I couldn’t have gotten where I am in this last best career of mine without my Wickeds.

I have other close friends in the writing community too many to mention, except I’ll take a stab (in semi-random order): Ellen, Leslie, Leslie, Alexia, Annette, Catriona, Kellye, Alyssa, Nancy, Debra, Connie, Laurie, Valerie, Judy. Lucy, Hallie, Hank, Debs, Rhys, Jenn, Julia. Dru, Grace, Josh, Art, Tara, Kristopher, Jay, Amy, Terri, Barb. Kate, Susan, Brenda, Ang, Leslie, Stephen, Carolyn, Nicole, Dale, Joanna, Edwin, Kim, Liz, Bruce, Dick, Kait. Holly, Nancy, Beth, Susan. The late but never forgotten Sheila and Vicki and Ramona. And more. These are the friends I see in person sometimes only annually when we squeal and rush to hug each other, the writers and reviewers I can ping privately about questions, successes, and woes.

My Mystery Lovers’ Kitchen gang are all special friends (and some have already been mentioned).

I love when we chat around the kitchen table on the first Sunday of the month and when we communicate behind the scenes, much like the Wickeds do. I’ve also made friends with fans, who are certainly too many to number, but I appreciate every one.

I also have long-time non-writer friends from high school and college. When I see my high school bestie, Cindy, it’s like no time has passed, even though it’s been fifty-four years since graduation. Here we are on a visit back to Temple City High school (in the San Gabriel Valley south of Pasadena) in 2019.

Last fall, when I was in California launching Murder Uncorked, I met up with several close friends from college days at UC Irvine. The next picture is after my lunch with Mike, a longtime San Francisco resident, and the following one is of Linda and Jon, who live in the Alexander Valley!

My friend Jennifer and I became fast friends during our first week of graduate school in Indiana nearly fifty years ago, and we’re still close. Our kids and now their kids are like family, and we all spend every Easter and Thanksgiving together.

About thirty years ago a group of moms in my town decided to form a movie group. We dubbed ourselves the Flick Chicks. We (a core of the originals and a few new ones to fill in the gaps) still meet every month or so for appetizers and drinks (or gummies), but we often forgo the movie and just catch up with each other or play games. This is most of the group last fall.

I also have friends among my fellow Amesbury Friends (Quakers) whom I can always count on. To wit, I am blessed by being rich in friendships. (And in family, but that’s a different blog.) This richness is reflected in the fictional friendships I write.

For my author life, my friendships with Barb, Julie, Liz, Sherry, and Jessie have been the richest and most important. Mwah to all five! I am more than delighted that Barb (#notdying) and Sherry have promised to crash our future in-person retreats.

Boothbay Harbor

Readers: Share a long-time friend or two. Do you also have work friends who mean a lot?

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Published by Edith Maxwell

Agatha Award -winning author Edith Maxwell writes the historical Quaker Midwife Mysteries (Beyond the Page) and short crime fiction. As Maddie Day she writes the Dot and Amelia Mysteries, the Country Store Mysteries series, the Cozy Capers Book Group Mysteries, and the Cece Barton Mysteries (all from Kensington Publishing). She lives north of Boston in an antique house with her beau and cat Martin, where she writes, gardens, cooks, and wastes time on Facebook.

30 Thoughts

  1. Oh Edith, thank you for including me as one of your friends as I count you as one of my friends. I am still close to one of my work-friends, we talk once a month. I’m still friends with the first person I met when I went to college. The beauty of it all is we pick up in our conversation as if we talked the day before.

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  2. EDITH: I am honoured to be listed as one of your friends!
    I do cherish our friendship.

    I am still friends with one of my mentors who hired me for
    my first research job in 1987. We don’t talk about climate change research anymore but we have a common interest in travel & goor food.

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  3. Thank you so much, my dear Edith, for including me. I’m blessed to have my tribe of writer friends, many of whom you’ve already mentioned. There are also a wonderful bunch of readers who’ve grown into friends. I’m not going to name names because I’ll forget someone I shouldn’t, which would make me feel awful.

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  4. Edith,

    What a great list…and hey, I made the list too, there’s something I don’t do very often. LOL!

    Growing up I had a trio of friends. There was Matt, but he moved away. There was Fred after that but we had a falling out and that friendship ended. And there was Roger which also had a falling out though we’ve recovered at least some of the friendship in recent years.

    There’s the trivia night friendships I’ve made, though Brian’s death brought that one to an unwelcome end.

    Most of the “friendships” I had through coaching basketball came to an end for the most part when I was no longer part of the league.

    Author friendships are so cool, even if most of them truly break down to being FB or signing event type friendship, which is why being able to chat with some of them on a more “regular” basis makes it even cooler: Edith, Joanna, Jon, another Jon, Kris and some others.

    But as Edith can attest, the best friend of best friends for me is one that’s only been going on for 8 years. That’s Ann. She’s the best! Of course, she’s off on her lifelong dream to live life traveling the world so I won’t see her much for a good long while but still we endure as friends.

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  5. While maybe not lifelong, I do have one that’s more like half my life. Glenda and I have been friends for more years than either of us like to admit to at times. We met at a common collectible’s event and found out while standing in line, that we have a LOT in common other than what we collect. We started off just communicating via internet and phone, but it soon became apparent the we both wanted that physical connection. Living in different states made that prospect difficult, but made us all the more determined. When we finally did get together, our husbands found that like connection with each other. We visited back and forth through the years making many fabulous memories – in visiting, where we went, what we ate and many more. We started making sure we talked at least once a week.

    Fast forward to the the late 2000’s and early 2010’s, my mother came to live with us after cancer surgery and the onset of Alzheimer. When a lot of the local “friends” disappeared when we weren’t able to do the things we did, Glenda was the one true friend that was always there – the one I talked to for advice, a friend that I could laugh with when all I wanted to do is cry, the one whose should I could cry on with no judgement. She was the one that convinced be after 14 months, that this journey was a long haul, but in order to take care of mom, I had to take care of myself. She talked to hubby to arrange a girls getaway after his assurance that he could manage alone for a weekend. We met in a town midways for both of us. Oh how fun it was to forget everyday life and to have fun with someone who knew it all and worked so hard for me to forget it for 2 day. After that we planned to met every other month for some getaway time. I really think she’s the one that saved my sanity and enabled me to give mom all the loving care she needed and what I wanted to do.

    After mom’s going on to her heavenly home, she’s still been there for me. Our girls weekends, while now not quite as often, have become couples getaway and are enjoyed just as much. We still talk on the phone at least once a week. I’m always anxious for 8:00 on Wednesday night to roll around. Thank God for best of best friends!
    2clowns at arkansas dot net

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  6. This post is beautiful. I wasn’t expecting to be crying on a Tuesday morning! Friends are so special. My mom was my bestest friend, and even though she’s not here on earth anymore I still spend time talking to her as much as possible. My best friend from college I don’t see much anymore due to her having a family, but I know she’s always there if I need something (or if something serious happens). I do have several co-workers that I consider friends, in fact we have a judgmental group chat that we use to discuss our lives.

    Ever since the pandemic and we started working from home it’s harder to see those work friends, but we’ve recently started a once a month lunch club where we all get together (minus our one co-worker from Texas).

    And I can’t forget, like Edith said, the writing friends I have made through the past few years. So many people have become close friends, and I look forward to seeing them at events, conferences, and on the shelves! SincNE as brought these people into my life and I don’t think I’d be a published author without them. So thanks to you!

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    1. My SINCNE friends, you included, are the very best, and a large part of my modest successes as an author. Glad you have your other friends, too, Nicole, and are able to commune with your late mom (sniff).

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  7. Edith, I’m honored to have made your list. You’ve listed a lot of my writer friends. Because my department is so scattered across the country, work friends are hard but we do get together for online games occasionally and it is loads of fun.

    My best friend Jolie and I are like that – go for weeks or months without speaking and as soon as we connect it’s like no time has passed. I realized we’ve been friends since we’ve were 12, so next year will mark 40 years of friendship.

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  9. Love this Edith! I have been blessed with friends from many places as we’ve moved around the country and still have lovely friends from high school and college. Also, I don’t remember this photo of us holding hands. I love it.

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  10. True friends are a priceless treasure and I am blessed to have my tribe. I have my dearest friend I met over 35 years ago, who has become my sister of the heart. We walked into a meeting as strangers, walked out as if we’d known each other our entire lives and it’s just gotten better over the years. I miss not seeing her every day anymore, but the minute we talk or see each other, we pick right back up as if we just had coffee together 10 minutes ago.

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  11. I join others in saying how honored I am to be your friend. This post brought tears to my eyes.

    I have fabulous friends from all parts of my life. I have to say, though, that in making the transition from TV to the mystery community, I worried I wouldn’t have much in common with people and would lack friends. Well, guess what? The true friends I made in a 25-year career in the entertainment industry don’t even fill one hand. The friends I’ve made since I started writing mysteries? So many I lose count.

    I have found my tribe.

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  12. I don’t have work friends, really. At least not like you are talking about with the Wickeds. I’m friendly with people at work, but we don’t hang out outside of business hours.

    I have had a lot of good friends come in and out of my life over the years. Some of the best are the ones I have watched the TV show Babylon 5 with. And I really need to watch it again because I miss the show and because I need to build some good friendships again.

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  13. This is wonderful, Edith! I’m fortunate to have many friendships with folks in the writing community. I do want to send a special shout out to Sarah Burr. She’s my webcasting partner in crime and the one I’m always texting about story ideas. 😊

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  14. I have two best forever friends. One was a before we were born in 1948. Our mothers were friends, pregnant with us at the same time, and their husbands worked at managing theatres in our hometown in way south Texas. Mary Lew and I were born 6 days apart. We are still friends today though we are not close in distance. The other best friend is one that I met in 1976 when I moved to Fort Worth, Texas. We are like sisters from another mother. I think that she and I are closer than my sister and me. Great friends and great memories. And now, I have a bunch of mystery writers to be friends with as we share our love of mysteries. We also transport ourselves to many places when we read and get to know so many characters

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  15. What a wonderful post about friendship! I have a best friend that I met as a college freshman, and she was a sophomore. We have stayed close, despite me moving to Minnesota for 15 years, before I came back to Ohio. She came to visit me twice in MN, although I was not able to make it back to Ohio to visit her. We have been there for each other through breakups, parents deaths, cancer for each of us. And a million little things too. I may not have as large a circle of friends as some people do, but I truly treasure Nadine. We knew we were meant to be friends when we discovered we were both born on our mom’s birthday and were baseball fans, despite our hapless hometown team being the pathetic Cleveland Indians. Some things may change. The Indians changed their name to the Guardians. But they still haven’t won a World Series. And Nadine and I will both be loyal fans til the day we die.

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