Getting By With Some Help From My Friends

Me and Julie Crime Bake 2013
Julie and Liz, Crime Bake 2013

By Liz, thrilled that it’s finally spring in New England

I’ve been thinking a lot about friendships these days. Which means I’ve been thinking about my Wicked sisters, because they are among the people I consider myself closest to in the world. Bear with me for a few while I get sappy (it doesn’t happen often).

I always had lots of friends growing up. People to hang out with, to shop with, to eat dinner with, etc. In my youthful naiveté, I called pretty much anyone I had some kind of social relationship with “a friend.” Of course, some were closer than others – my select few “best” friends over certain periods of my life, my go-to groups for different activities. I trusted people immensely. I threw myself into my friends with gusto, always making myself available, rearranging my schedule so I could be at their beck and call, dropping everything if they needed something.

Liz and Edith, Writer’s Police Academy, 2011

I considered myself abundant in the area of friendship, so I didn’t spend a whole lot of time thinking about the concept. 

But then the time came when I could’ve used a few good friends, and found out I didn’t have as many as I thought. I also realized I hadn’t necessarily been choosing my friends wisely. Or setting the right boundaries. 

So I went to the other extreme after that, as I tend to do. I decided I didn’t need any more friends. At all. Aside from pets, of course. The first job I got after I moved to Connecticut was in a newsroom. Like most newsrooms, it was full of reporters who liked to go to bars and hang out after long days and nights of work. Being a friendly bunch, they often extended the invitation. I usually declined. (Don’t worry, I eventually got over being an extremist and found four or five new friends.) 

Liz, Sherry and Sheila, Malice 2014
Liz, Sherry and Sheila, Malice 2014

Then I got my agent and my contract to write the Pawsitively Organic Mysteries. Edith Maxwell, who I knew from Sisters in Crime, had also just signed with John Talbot and gotten her contract. She brilliantly connected me and Jessie Crockett, the first of any of us to sign on for a series, and suggested we all start figuring this writing thing out together. The Wicked Cozy Authors were born from there when Barb, Sherry and Julie joined the soiree.  

Barb and I with our Agatha nomination certs, Malice 2014
Barb and Liz, Malice 2014

And so were friendships I had never imagined. Right from the start, we were more than just blog mates. We were support, both in and out of the writing world. We were cheerleaders. We were shoulders to cry on. We were friends. 

We are friends. 

All of us, 2014 retreat at Old Orchard Beach
All of us, 2014 retreat at Old Orchard Beach

I once said to them that being with them, even when we’re simply sharing experiences over email, is like going to a family dinner – one I actually look forward to. Even when they put me in book jail. 

They are all unique, amazing women who I’ve come to depend on. When something happens, funny or sad, I immediately think, The Wickeds will get it. They always do. 

I guess that’s what happens when you find real friends. 

20 Thoughts

  1. That’s so great, Liz. I am happy to read your trail of friendship discovery. Mine followed a similar line. There is just nothing better than making the discovery you made. xo

  2. Agree about all of that, Liz. Including the bit about the time in our life when we realize some of those “friends” aren’t really (for me it was post divorce when several of my friends chose my ex over me). Too bad we don’t all live closer. Except for Julie and Barb, none of us lives closer than an hour’s drive and some way further. But that’s what cyberspace is for, right?

    1. Absolutely, Edith. And I bet we’ll all end up closer together one of these days (sooner rather than later, I hope!) Did you hear that, Sherry???

  3. I’m so glad you guys have found each other. It’s evident when I see you guys at a convention and on FB. Kudos!

  4. Oh my. Grateful the mascara wasn’t on yet! I also count the Wickeds as wonderful friends. And Liz, am grateful for your “you can work full time, have other obligations and still write” lessons. Thanks for this post!

  5. What a lovely sentiment, Liz. Who would have thought a year ago how much better our lives would be because of the relationships built around this blog?

  6. The other great thing about the blog for me has been expanding our friends through the people we’ve gotten to know here. We are so lucky!

  7. When I started reading this blog, I hadn’t read any of your books. But one reason I kept coming back is that friendship you talk about is evident in all of your posts. (And your marketing plan is working because I’ve know read books by Edith and Barbara with books by Liz and Jessie on my to be read pile.)

    I tend to be more introverted than I should be, so I try hard to consider people potential friends if not outright friends fairly early. Yes, trying times show you who your real friends are, but I find if I cast a wide net, I am rewarded with more true friends.

    1. Mark, I am a dedicated introvert living an extrovert’s life. Love your mantra of assuming everyone is a potential friend. I bet it makes life much more fun.

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