Opening Lines

It’s Tagged for Death week! Write an opening line for this garage-sale-themed picture:


Jessie: Ellie was a literally minded woman. When she said she was holding a garage sale she meant it. She took it as a good sign that the first thing to go that morning was the garage door.

Julie: Leave it to Ted. “I can open a time vortex and bring Uncle Chet back.” “That’s nice, sweetie.” “Don’t believe me?” “No, no I don’t.” The next morning the car, sans Uncle Chet, shows up at the garage sale. And I can’t find Ted anywhere. The car could probably help get him back. But who could turn down $1000?

Edith: Man, doing surveillance at a yard sale sucks. All these people coming and going. But I know the guy who left that wad of drug money in the pile of clothes last week is going to show up looking for it. And then he’ll be looking at a nice long stay in prison.

Liz: I hoped I was a good enough shot to pick off my target; otherwise I was going to ruin some poor innocent schmuck’s Saturday morning bargain hunting.

Barb: The fourth time the red Corvette cruised by, I got my hopes up. He was cute and blond, though his face was obscured by his sunglasses. By the fifth time, I was worried, and when he was still doing it, long after we’d shut down the sale and picked up the lawn, after night had fallen and my parents had gone home, I began to panic.

Sherry: I put a “price firm” sign on grandpa’s old truck. If one more person asked me to lower the price they were going to be hanging upside down from the rope in my neighbor’s tree.

Readers: Add yours!

36 Thoughts

  1. I seen Jim-Billy’s truck out front. Who let him outta his cage 10 years early. And what all is he doing way up here anyhow? Bad penny. Bad penny. You see him. You pretend you don’t. I gotta go look for Rayetta.

      1. 🙂 Thanks. Got hang of it the 10 years I spent on the ranch over near Piute Mountain. Ten miles south of Weldon down Kelso Valley Road. Turn right after the third cattleguard. Cross the creek and up the other side. Could you pick up our mail at the Onyx Store before you head in? And if anyone says anything about my mother calling? Tell them they can tell her to meet me at Nelda’s Diner on Saturday. If you would, please. There’s too much skip, to get out on the CB. I know what you’re thinking. No cell towers around here! Gotta go stack that cord wood. See you later.

  2. Here’s the old biddy’s sale. Let’s see if she’s selling the sealed wooden cigar box she snatched off the table at the flea market last week. It’s got to be where Uncle Joe stashed the goods.

  3. I was finally able to get rid of my late husband Dean’s belongings. It had been two years since his passing and it was time to move on. I was shocked to death when a new sports car pulls up in my driveway and Dean gets out.

  4. Vulchers. That’s what Ardis called the scavengers poking through the last of her mother’s belongings spread out on tables in the driveway. “Do all the lights work?” A woman pointed to the words ‘pre-lit Christmas tree” on a dusty box that had obviously been taped and re-taped dozens of times. She looked like she’d been around the block as many times as the Christmas tree. “I. . .” Ardis’ throat constricted. A truck had pulled up on the road in front of the house. A 1950s green truck. Like the one her father had when she was a little girl. Like the truck she dreamt about last night. A man stepped out. Baggy khaki pants. Red plaid shirt. Steel-toed work boots. Belly like he was six months pregnant. A gray goatee. She refused to look into his eyes. “I don’t know,” she stammered, reaching for her cell phone..

  5. I always love these opening line posts. So much fun and so many different openings from the same picture. (And Jessie, I was laughing at yours about the literal garage sale.)

    Here’s mine:

    Sooner or later, he’d leave the sale, and then I could get down to business. Then he’d be really sorry he spent his last hour on earth at a stinking garage sale.

  6. “Jesus! Again??? Didn’t they just have a yard sale last weekend? Oh look, they’ve blocked our driveway again. And this time there’s someone in the car, I’m going out there and tell them to move! I’m tired of these people and their yard sale mania, I think they dig through everyone’s trash just so they have new stuff each week. Hey you! In the truck, Hey! Hey!” Bang, bang, bang. “Hey buddy wake up, you’ve got to move this truck! Oh no! Hey Earl? Earl? Earl! Call the cops I think this guy is dead!”

  7. “Jesus, will you look at them all? Earl! You see this, they’re having another stinking yard sale. Oh and goody-goody, some jerk is parked in front of our driveway. Earl! I’m heading out there and tell that big jerk to move his rusty old truck! I swear they pick trash at night so they can have new stuff at their yard sale, this every week thing is getting old real quick. Hey! Hey you! In the truck! Hey you!” Bang, bang, bang. “Wake up buddy you gotta move this hunk ‘o junk! You’re blocking my driveway move it! Hey! …. Hey! Earl! Earl!! Call the cops there’s a dead guy in this truck!”

    1. Previous two comments beat me to it! Very good. In real life, I usually had the idea— too many baby clothes, keep driving!

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