Opening Lines

Write an opening line for the picture below:

Edith: “Good Lord, this baby’s heavy. Whadda they got in it, a body?”

Barb: “I told these guys a thousand times, you rob the safe while it’s IN the bank.”

Sherry: (I’m still laughing at Barb’s line.) They said it was a safe job. I didn’t know they meant it literally.

Jessie: I thought the guy that hired me said it was a safe heist. It turns out he said a safe hoist.

Liz: We tried to be as casual as possible and look like we were supposed to be jacking the safe. I mean, would four guys in their right minds think they could get away with this in broad daylight otherwise?

Julie: When he said he wanted something to protect the family jewels, she took him literally.

Readers: Add yours!

25 Thoughts

  1. Officer: “Well, well, well…..what have we got here, boys? Going somewhere with that there safe?”

    Thief: “It’s not what it looks like, officer. Honest. The bank manager said he’d let us borrow it for our magician act.”

  2. Asking the neighbors for manpower in helping to move the safe sounded like a good idea until the thought hit them that they might able to identify them later.

  3. Gary adjusted his hat and stood back, ashamed. It didn’t seem fair that he wouldn’t get to help just because he thought it was White Tank Thursday instead of Blue Tee Friday.

  4. “Guys, we have two problems…there is a weight limit on this truck and don’t look now, but the neighbor is on her porch with her phone.”

  5. Good news: The getaway car is extremely fast.
    Bad news: Getting the safe into the getaway car is going very, very slowly.

    (And on a related note, anyone watch The Good Place? I’m laughing so hard at this picture because of that show right now. And if you don’t, I’m not spoiling it.)

  6. I don’t know, Joe. I really don’t think there is space in the evidence room for this…

  7. Back on the truck fellas. She said this is NOT the refrigerator she ordered.

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