By Liz, wishing all of us an amazing 2023!
This month’s Wicked Wednesdays are all about changing it up, making new choices, creating new habits. So for this first Wednesday of 2023, let’s talk about mindset.
Wickeds, what’s a particular mindset or way of thinking that isn’t working for you any more? Any negative self talk, perfectionism, dwelling on past mistakes that you’re ready to let go of this year? Tell me!
Edith/Maddie: This isn’t exactly a mindset, but it’s the thoughts that scroll, sometimes endlessly, when I lie awake at two in the morning. Usually I can get back to sleep, but it seems at least once a week I can’t, and my busy mind ranges through an incredible array of issues I have no control over. Some happened in the past (which are so over), some are my sons’ business and not mine, and some are worries that I know in the cool light of day will be FINE. I am more than ready to let this thought-scrolling go, especially since it never includes solving plot problems. Bye-bye. Don’t come back.
Julie: Edith, doom scrolling at 2am is the worst. I’ve taken to having a book I know on audio, and I play it to give my brain something else to focus on, otherwise I spiral. What I’m trying to shift in 2023 is playing out the future before it happens. I future think, and that’s not helpful for focusing on the now. Instead of worrying about how many copies my new book will sell, finish editing it. That sort of thing.
Sherry: I hate when the mind circles and re-circles in the middle of the night too. I have a variety of games I play in my mind to try to distract myself. I’m trying to see the big picture of things this year. I sometimes get caught up in the little things that create anxiety.
Jessie: I love this question, Liz! Every year I pick a word or phrase to use as a litmus test for decisions, goals and problem solving. It is a way for me to frame a mindset and one that I feel really helps me to change and grow.
Barb: Throughout our marriage my husband and I have had a motto, “No regrets!” Because really, what’s the point? You come to a fork in the road; choosing one path precludes all the others. It’s a part of the condition of being human and living in one timeline. And as for the things thrust upon you, where you don’t get to make the choice, there’s no point in regretting those either since you can’t change them. However, with a milestone birthday looming in two days, I’ve found in the last ten years or so that you probably can’t get out of this life without a few major regrets. I have found that having next to no experience dealing with major regrets that I am very, very bad at it. I get that what I’ve always believed still applies, that lacking a time machine you can’t go back and change anything, but still… So in 2023, I’d love to do better handling regrets.
Readers, what’s a mindset shift you’re making in the new year? Tell us below!
This is a great set of comments. Thank you. For whatever it’s worth, when I really can’t sleep at 2 AM, I read a few pages of a long, nonfiction, heavy-lift book that I keep on my night able for that purpose. Right now, it’s a well-regarded, dense and footnoted history of an important, really interesting time in my own town. My eyes start to close after two or three pages, the sweep of history tends to put things in perspective. And I’m gone. Doesn’t work every time, but enough that it’s my go-to.
I am sure the local author, of some repute, would feel sad to know that his book is my best sleep aid.
Marian Stanley
That’s so funny, Marian. Books by Noam Chomsky work well that way, too!
I do the same thing. Nothing like a non-fiction book that isn’t TOO interesting to put you to sleep.
LOL, Marian! This is a great strategy.
As someone who was always looked to as the person who will “take care of it” – this goes way back to my childhood, since I was the eldest – I’m trying to not feel responsible for fixing everything. Only my stuff. Other people need to fix themselves.
This is great, Liz – I’ve been working on this one too.
I’d like to shift my mindset to more living in the moment and remembering that worrying about what might never happen is pointless.
Amen, Kathy!
Shifting from worrying so much to go with the flow. Not sure if this is the new year or just the process of “maturing”. Worry hasn’t worked for me other than to keep regular appointments with the gastroenterologist to treat my many ulcers. Worry has kept me awake, but doesn’t change the outcome one bit. So this year, I’m going to turn lose of what I have no control over, do my best and let whatever happens be what it is.
2clowns at arkansas dot net
I so feel you on this, Kay.
I am looking to find the positive in every situation no matter how difficult because wallowing just isn’t getting me anywhere. Happy New Year to everyone!
Love this!
What interesting comments! Yes, that 2AM worry train seems to have lots of stations on its route! I’m trying to practice the spirit of a quote attributed to Robert Downey, Jr. Worrying is like praying for something you don’t want! Trying my best to live in gratitude.
Yes, Kait! I love that quote too!
It’s very comforting to hear that I am not the only one who has a problem with mind scrolling! Thank you, Wickeds, for sharing!
You are definitely not alone!
I need to focus on finding things to be thankful for instead of dwelling on how everyone around me is an idiot. (They are ;), but it doesn’t do anything for me to focus on it.)
As to making my brain shut off in the middle of the night, I pick up a book. Reading relaxes me and often puts me to sleep even at the best of times, but it’s especially helpful in the middle of a sleepless night. And, if it doesn’t work, then I get a lot of reading in, which is another win.
Mark, LOL – I totally hear you on that one 😉
I’ve been putting off losing weight for years because the last time I lost a lot, I was miserable and I regained the weight. I can’t let that failure control my life. I just have to go about the weight loss program from a different perspective. I hope this is the year!
Good luck, Ginny!
Great comments – as if everybody read my mind. 😉
My go-to fall asleep reading used to be Newsweek magazine. Something about the rhythm of the writing. Sorry guys, but one paragraph and I was out. HNY everyone!
I think we all share more of these things than we think!
a great post. this year I am going to try to check my attitude. some times I can be a bit snarky or sarcastic. neither to the point that it hurts anyone, but still I dont want to be this way. so work on it I will be doing