by Barb, just back from a wonderful week on Prince Edward Island
I’m here with the fourth post in my series about what I’ve learned while writing my 15 published mystery novels, 6 novellas, and dozen or so short stories. (You can see the previous posts here, and here, and here.)
So much writing advice and instruction is aimed at beginners. Learning opportunities get harder to find as you get more advanced. Yes, if you’re lucky, you’re getting feedback from your agent and/or editor, but that’s usually specific to a manuscript. Julie Hennrikus and I have often bemoaned the lack of a support group specifically for the Middies–mid-career, mid-list, middle-aged. (Ha, ha. Well, not necessarily that last one.)
What I’ve tried to do with this series is capture things it took me a while to catch onto. But, of course, writing doesn’t work like that. What is easy or obvious to one person has to be learned by dint of hard work by another. And vice versus. Also, I’ve found I’ve had to learn things in layers. Something that made no sense when I first heard it will click into place when I’ve had more experience.
I’m doing my best to pass on hard-earned wisdom in this series but your mileage may vary.
One of the things you have to do along the way is discard a lot of advice that was good, or at least well-meant, when you were a beginner. I mean by that lessons that were intended to steer you away from the most obvious pitfalls. “Show, don’t tell,” is a good example. Er, yes, but not always.
Another example is about dialogue tags. The first level of advice about dialogue tags that you get is that you should never add an adverb, as in, “Thanks for the fish,” Joe said, gratefully. Yes, that is bad, redundant, and does have the whiff of Dick and Jane about it. But it’s hard for me to imagine that anyone who has read a lot of contemporary fiction would even think to do that.
The next layer of prohibition is that you should use no tag but “said.” No whispered, shouted, asked, wondered, queried, explained, complained, etc. The theory here is two-fold. One, you should be able to get anything you need beyond said from the context. The reader should be able to tell from the quote if someone is screaming or musing. Two, said is the least disruptive, most invisible of dialogue tags. It all but disappears in the reader’s mind and therefore doesn’t interrupt the flow of the characters’ conversation.
My reaction to these first two layers of prohibition is often something like, “English is a big, beautiful language and I can use any part of it I want!” (Which is patently untrue since I spent most of my career writing cozy mysteries and there were words I couldn’t use. George Carlin listed most of them in 1972.) I do understand this advice, though my characters do occasionally ask, respond, whisper, or stage-whisper and so on.
The third level of prohibition is that you shouldn’t use dialogue tags at all. Every character, this piece of advice goes, should have such a distinct voice that the reader will know who is saying what.
My reaction to this is three-fold. 1) Great when it works, but as anyone who has ever had to read backwards through three pages of dialogue to figure out which character is speaking will tell you, having to do that definitely takes you out of the story. 2) While I buy that I need to understand who my minor characters are and why they’re saying what they’re saying, short of giving each minor character some kind of accent or speech impediment, endowing each one some instantly recognizable speech pattern seems unduly burdensome to both reader and writer. And 3) if I had known dialogue tags were undesirable, I wouldn’t have had a team of two police detectives and an amateur sleuth because that combination results a in a lot of three-way and four-way conversations.
Seriously, what I have found is that dialogue tags are often unnecessary, but not because of distinct ways of speaking, or thoughts that could only be expressed by one specific character (though that’s good if you can achieve it). Instead I find the best way to eliminate dialogue tags is via bits of business that anchor the conversation in time and space, add to character development, and slow down and open up the conversation, allowing it (and the reader) to breathe.
Example (with tags):
“Where are you going?” Jack asked.
“Dunno.” I answered.
“Really?” Jack said. He was skeptical.
“Let’s go to the spring house,” I responded.
Example (but did you really need them?):
“Where are you going?” Jack drew alongside me, his boots scuffing in the dry dirt of the trail.
“Dunno.” I’d fled the house knowing only that I had to get I had to get away from the oppressive atmosphere that followed the discover of Esme’s body. I’d been walking with no destination in mind.
Jack raised an eyebrow. He didn’t believe me.
“Let’s go to the spring house.” I realized the moment I spoke the words that I’d unwittingly invited him along.
As I’ve said in previous posts in this series these are things I’ve learned along the way, so you’ll see me adding unnecessary tags all the way through to the last book. There is one “said” in Torn Asunder that I justified keeping in “for rhythm” through a dozen revisions. Then, finally, when I read the book in print, I realized (at long last and way too late) the tag was unneeded. (Smacks forehead. Doh!)
Readers and writers: How do you feel about dialogue tags? Do you adhere to the rule of “said” only or none at all? Do you notice dialogue tags? All the time, or only when they’re done badly?
The Wickeds 
I never noticed them before, but now I bet I’m going to see them. I believe as long as it doesn’t interrupt the flow of reading it can be both good and bad.
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When it doesn’t interrupt the flow of the writing I think the writer has achieved their goal.
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My rule in writing news and fiction is the same: the writing should only draw attention to itself when you want it to. (NOT that I always make it!) In radio news, we have to attribute, so there’s a lot of “said” and “stated,” and it stands out if you use another word. Similar idea with dialogue tags: if you’re using something other than “said,” or a simple bit of stage business like a nod or smile, I figure you want me to notice for a reason — so I do!
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That’s interesting. I hadn’t thought of a news report where “exclaimed” would stand out and be terribly funny. I guess I believe the writing should only call attention to itself when you want it to (i.e. it’s intentional). I hadn’t thought about it that way.
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Another great post, Barb. I do notice when there haven’t been enough identifiers of who is speaking. In my own writing, when the dialogue is between two people I try every third exchange or so to clarify who said what.
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That’s interesting. I had never thought about doing it mathematically.
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For me as a reader, I’d much rather have a visual description as in your example instead of the stated he said, she said. It makes the story flow and more enjoyable to read. At the same time, the author needs to make it clear in who is speaking. If I have to figure it out, then the story loses some of what makes it appear to be happening before our mind’s eye.
2clowns at arkansas dot net
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“If I have to figure it out, then the story loses some of what makes it appear to be happening before our mind’s eye.” Exactly!
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Great stuff, Barb! I try to avoid dialogue tags as much as possible. Sometimes, though, they come in handy, especially in those group conversations. When I use a tag, I make sure I don’t follow it with an adverb. That where the action you mentioned comes in for me. Cheers!
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Cheers, J.C.! It’s the group conversations that kill you figuring out how to handle them. Especially since I tend to write dialogue quickly. I know who’s talking and what they look like and where they are and how they’re feeling. But in that first draft I often forget to tell the reader!
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I don’t usually think about it, so I guess that means it’s been done well. I do notice if there’s a whole string of tags or the same tag multiple times. Most commonly, I’ll run into a part full of dialogue with no tags, so by the end of the exchange I’m going back over the lines (thinking “this was John, this is Jane, John, Jane, John…) to figure out who said what or who delivered the finishing line.
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I agree the mechanics are invisible if they’re done well.
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Hemingway was brilliant at having a page of dialogue with no tags. I’ve studied him for fifty years and still can’t figure out how he did it. 😕
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I haven’t read Hemingway for decades. Now you have me curious to check this out.
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I tend to avoid said tags and have a wonderful editor who reminds me when I forget (and when a tag is needed). My preference is for bits of business that can often reveal things about the character and identify the speaker.
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Agree! Sherry Harris has been my first reader for many years and she hates sequences that are question-answer-question-answer ad infinitum and always calls me out on them. They don’t bother me as much as they bother her, so sometimes they stay, but usually they get changed.
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I do try to minimize tags and rarely use anything but “said” and “asked.” My preference is “tagging” dialog with bits of business, as in your last example. But sometimes it’s too much and a simple “said” is a relief.
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Yes–I should have said for pacing, bits of business can be too much. Especially during zingy, funny bits of dialogue.
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Too many “he said,” “she said” can be annoying and distracting. At the time, I don’t want to have to go back and figure out who said what. It’s a fine line. An occasional exclaimed, whispered, etc. can add variety and make a character’s reaction more understandable. And, yes, it is something that I notice.
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So interesting that you notice this.
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Barbara, your straightforward advice here feels concise and practical. Thanks.
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I’m glad you liked it!
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Not really sure about tags, probably because I’m a reader not a writer. But I notice their absence when I have to go back to figure out who is saying what to whom! Thank you, Barbara, for your insights.
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You are so welcome! I’m glad you as a reader are finding this interesting.
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I notice when they are said after said after said after said. Likewise, I notice if the authors goes out of his or her way to have the characters ask, respond, chuckle, etc. and NEVER use said. I don’t tend to notice when the author is using business to help identify the characters.
Personally, I feel a good mix of all three is the best way to go. That’s when I stop noticing and get really into the scene.
And I’ve had books with scenes with two characters in a scene. No tags or business. And I will still have to go back and remember who is speaking. There have been a few times I think the author lost track.
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“There have been a few times I think the author lost track.” Laughing. I don’t think I’ve ever done that. But there have been a few times in those group conversations where someone is in a scene at the beginning and they just..drift away, apparently. Because they are never seen or heard from again.Sherry has saved me more than once on this one.
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LOL. I’m not sure I would have noticed if I character just randomly walked away in the middle of a scene. But it’s nice that Sherry keeps track of that for you.
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Great post!
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Thanks, Sherry!
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